Imagine having a resource that supports your every move, enthusiastically invests in all of your professional goals and never interferes with day-to-day management. Sounds like a valuable ally. Sounds like a silent partner.

Everyone has this silent partner, and it—not a he or she—is called nonverbal communication. You ignite this power by learning how facial nuances, physical gestures, posture, voice inflection and even subliminal signals within e-mail text either support or contradict the words you use—as well as words directed to you.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

According to a popular theory dating back to the late 1960s, message impact is based 55 percent on body language, 38 percent on voice quality and 7 percent on words spoken. David B. Givens, Ph.D., director of the Center for Nonverbal Studies, feels that spoken words deserve more credit, or at least it should be emphasized that these numbers address the emotion behind what we do or don’t say. He offers an example: “The shoulders are a very emotional part of the body, and they instinctively leak information by flexing forward or raising up when we feel uncertain. If someone’s pitching an important point, you can see how much conviction they have in their idea by virtue of how their shoulders either remain still or flex.”

The caveat to reading nonverbal communication, Givens cautions, is that it takes a cluster or pattern of similarly defined nonverbal signals to equal true clues. If someone crosses her arms tightly against her chest, it can mean she distrusts you, but it also can mean she’s chilly. Rubbing your nose while speaking often indicates a lie; but then again, maybe you’re allergic to something in the room.

Body of Work

Understanding body language can help you see if someone is deceiving you. Conversely, knowing the right body moves may strengthen your own words. Two giveaways, according to Jef Nance, author of Conquering Deception, are rubbing the nose and avoiding direct eye contact while speaking. “When we get stressed, the nerves inside our nose tingle and we rub it. Stress is a big part of lying,” Nance says. “Another classic sign of deception is when someone tilts her head down and rotates her eyes up, so only the whites are visible under the eye’s colored part. Someone telling the truth looks directly at the listener, showing equal amounts of white around the iris.”

Other nonverbal lie detectors, if done while speaking, include covering the mouth, tugging an ear lobe, fidgeting, and playing with hair, fingernails or jewelry.

You also might watch for characteristically defensive gestures, a common trait among tall-tale tellers. These include arms crossed against the chest, clenched fists, sitting with legs crossed high up, and hands rammed into pockets. When the listener performs these motions, they still indicate defensiveness, but from a suspicious or angry angle; this person is eager to express an alternative idea.

Traditional truth signals include relaxed, open hands with palms up, steepled fingers, consistent eye contact, placement of the palm against the chest, and a slight lean forward. Posture is also important. Slumping indicates a complete lack of conviction; ramrod straight suggests aggression; something in between, defined by your own natural stance, is the preferred pose.

Whether you’re in sales, suggesting a new office policy, asking for a raise or interviewing for a job, Nance says, “You want to appear confident in what you say and firm in your statement.

Thumbs Up or Thumbs Down

In addition to truthfulness and deception, body language also can signal approval and disapproval. You want listeners with plenty of eye contact, nodding, maybe a little stroking of the chin, a higher-than-average blink rate, a slightly tilted head and a smile. When they put their pen down, place their hands flat on the desk (but do not move away from the desk) and lean slightly forward, you got ’em.

If you’re speaking to someone who fidgets, clasps his hands behind his back, pinches the bridge of his nose, stares off into space, pulls imaginary fuzz off his jacket or displays any of the defensive gestures listed earlier, then he’s either bored or doesn’t agree with you. If you suspect disapproval, Nance adds, do some investigating. “Ask the listener, ‘What do you think?’ It’s an invitation to uncross his arms and explain what’s on his mind. It also subtly steers the conversation back to where you want it.”

Voice Your Opinion

The quality of your voice affects your message as well. Understanding cadence and tone are more important than ever, with telephone conversations a daily necessity for global corporations, extended universities and out-of-state job applicants, who sometimes go through several phone interviews before flying out to meet decision-makers.

Whether you’re nose to nose with your audience or conversing by telephone, Givens says you want a normal speaking rate, volume, pitch and rhythm. “A relaxed, natural presence, including voice, says you’re in control. Emotions aren’t pulling the strings, and you have conviction in your idea.”

To empower business negotiations, be cognizant of speaking volume and rate. We tend to unconsciously pump up the volume and speak fast when stressed. Insecurity may be expressed by a soft, slow voice. Also, listen for silence. If your audience does not immediately respond, it often means they’re interested but want more information.

You’ve Got Mail

Nonverbal communication has evolved to include silent signals in e-mail text. For example, sloppy text can blur or negate your message. Emotions, especially sarcasm, are hard to get without voice tone or body language to bring the point home.

An effective e-mail, according to Jennifer Scott, University of Phoenix director of online faculty training and development, begins with tone. “You want to sound cordial and collaborative, instead of commanding and controlling,” Scott says. “When you send an emotionally charged e-mail, it’s called flaming. They can do so much damage. If you’re mad, write your e-mail, click save and revisit it tomorrow. When you read it the next day, ask yourself, ‘Would I want to get this message? Would I say this in person?’ Then you’ll know if it’s OK to hit send.”

When rereading that e-mail, you also want to watch out for ALL CAPS and multiple question marks or exclamation points. They all imply shouting and may be misconstrued as anger. GOT THE POINT!!!????!!!

Second on Scott’s list of concerns is proofreading. “Skip this and you say, ‘I’m lazy and don’t care what you think.’ Use that spellchecker, but don’t stop there. Proof for grammar, punctuation, misused homonyms that a spellchecker can’t correct—they’re, there, their—and again, proof for tone.”

To underscore your cordial quality, Scott suggests beginning with a salutation and ending with a close, which keeps your message from sounding like a command—even if it is. “When I send an e-mail to my managers, I might begin with ‘Hi, Team’ and close with ‘Thanks for your help.’ It doesn’t need to be formal, just something that sets a positive tone.”

In addition, paraphrase questions within your reply, even if the answer is a simple yes or no. Scott explains, “When we speak in person, we often nod our head as we reply, nonverbally communicating that we understand the question. In e-mail, paraphrasing the question is like that nod.”

As for appearance, Scott suggests the K.I.S.S. principle: keep it short and simple. “Lots of solid copy is a bear to read online. Write short snippets with blank space between paragraphs, and use small icons or numbers to separate points.” Scott adds that fancy formatting is another potential pitfall. Not every computer can read colored text or background colors. Your message may come out gibberish, and you’ll look foolish.

With in-person, phone and e-mail communication, it’s not only what you say, but also how you say it. Fortunately, positive nonverbal communication is our natural inclination when we feel calm, comfortable and confident. Get command of the three C’s, and your silent partner will speak up loud and clear.

Cultural Divide

In international business, it’s important to remember that contacts who speak fluent English verbally may still speak their native tongue nonverbally. Their body language—as well as how they read your body language—can lead to misunderstandings. Proximity, the distance between people conversing, is an issue when dealing with other cultures. North Americans tend to stand 19 inches apart, or arm’s length. Those from the U.K. prefer a 24-inch distance. Japanese associates widen the space to a full 36 inches, while those from Middle Eastern countries often close the gap to a mere 8 to 12 inches.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…

Mirroring is a technique used to reinforce positive nonverbal communication. It stems from the fact that we humans—and many other animals—are naturally inclined to copy, or mirror, our partner’s body language. When opening a business negotiation, if you suspect that your partner agrees with you, solidify this feeling by subtly imitating his nonverbal cues. This sends a nonverbal message back that you feel comfortable and confident about the conversation. If you suspect that your listener is feeling ambivalent, try introducing a positive nonverbal gesture yourself, like nodding your head or making a point with your hands out in front, open and palms up. If your partner mirrors you, then you’ve become the leader, and you’re in position to steer the conversation.